An old man filled with regret

Posted by Suman on Jan 20, 2021

Whenever I see an old man,

I see one of two things.

I either see regret and depression.

Or I see boyish excitement.


It perplexes me every time it happens,

in real life or not.

These men are in their 60s, 70s, even 80s, and 90s!

How could they?

Why would they?

...

just waste it away, never truly actualizing their innate?


No, I do not seek an answer.

I already know it.

I ask the question to indirectly

reveal you an answer of sorts.

About how one can leverage the reality around them

to not succumb to their Mind.


Deep down I have always craved an easy life.

This is why when faced with an option,

I have always picked hard or challenging circumstances.

Something within me was just not content being comfortable.

Recently I read somewhere -

"Easy choices, hard life, hard choices, easy life"

"Touche" my tamed Mind whispered.


Yes, comfort felt good.

It still feels good to be able to

sit on a cutting-edge ergonomic chair,

look out to a vibrant and gleaming downtown,

interact with the Macbook's magic keyboard and

not some barely put together unix or windows PC,

and pretend to work, while I am really playing.

But I know it in my bones,

I would not be here if I fell for ease and comfort.

Like all my colleagues, acquaintances, friends, and family did.

(And this includes a lot of people working high-profile jobs making 6-7 figures)

I also know,

I will not be taken where I will be taken,

if I let my Mind do even the slightest of talking for me.


Continuing to pick challenges over comfort

ultimately put me on the path to the biggest challenge a human

can face - can he let himself go?

Can he die, long before he actually dies?

The decision was made within me the day I was born.

That I will never become old.

That "I" will die young.


A 60-year-old billionaire with flexed eyebrows

still excited for his upcoming meeting has picked comfort all his life.

He just does not know it.

My 75-year-old father who suffered all his life and recently almost died,

also chose comfort when he was faced with an option.

And in choosing comfort, they chose their Minds.

I will not.

I WILL NOT.


If you are constantly falling for escapes and easy routes,

there is nothing wrong with it.

But I will say that living has not even begun for you.

And if something does not happen to you,

or if you do not realize the consequences of your escapes,

your eyes will stay forever closed.


Before you know it

you will have become

an old man filled with regret.


Thank you.